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Why your bad job is like a bad romance

Think about the two areas in life where you have personally experienced the most dissatisfaction. Chances are they stem from your love life and your career. What you might not realize is that there are several similarities between a bad job and a bad romance—and thankfully many are avoidable. Since both work and love are incredibly important pillars in your life, we’ll break apart the characteristics to empower you to find excellence and balance across the board.

Signs of a bad job or a bad romance

A lack of appreciation. A bad job and a bad relationship are fueled by a common source— Whether it’s your manager not acknowledging your hard work, or your significant other taking you for granted, it all leads to the same results—a dissatisfied partner or employee. If you’re a people manager, take close note—personal recognition is the number one motivator for employee performance (even ahead of increased pay), and a Blueboard survey found that 62 percent of employees are unsatisfied with their current recognition program (so it may be time to give yours a quick once-over).

Feeling social isolation. When you’re involved in a negative relationship with your partner or career, it’s common to experience social isolation. It may be hard to find people who relate to your exact situation, which can make you feel alone or to withdraw from social situations to protect yourself from disappointment. You probably complain about how awful your boss or boyfriend is and your negativity may impact your interactions with friends and family. This type of isolation is difficult to cope with, especially when it happens during a time when you really need support from your loved ones.

Forming secrets. When you don’t trust the person you work for or are romantically involved with, you won’t feel safe openly discussing your problems with them, which inevitably leads to secrets being formed. This can manifest in the form of snooping through your partner’s phone or A lack of trust will always cause a lingering tension between both parties. And it's likely that your manager or significant other aren’t oblivious—they’ll sense that you’re withdrawn or hiding something and may grow increasingly suspicious of your actions, which only further exacerbates the problem.

When you don’t trust the person you work for or are romantically involved with, you won’t feel safe openly discussing your problems with them, which inevitably leads to secrets being formed.

Leading to unhappiness. Obviously, a bad job and a bad romance both lead to unhappiness. What may not be as obvious are the detrimental side effects that this unhappiness can have on your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Recent studies show that this kind of stress can lead to a lack of sleep, unhealthy fluctuations in weight and susceptibility to illnesses. So even though your dissatisfaction stems from a specific source, it can easily spill over and significantly lower your quality of life.

Social Media Today shares that 88 percent of employees don't have a passion for work—which can be incredibly detrimental for an entire company. It’s the responsibility of managers and human resources to take drastic action should you find your team to be in this state of mind.

The choice is yours

It’s up to you to make a choice—stay or leave. If you’re reading this now and realizing you’re not your happiest self, it’s up to you to instigate change. You can try to find the good in your job or partner and find ways to improve your situation, or you can move on to the next phase of your life. While it can be incredibly scary to think about the latter, you ultimately have to decide what’s best for yourself.

Ask yourself the following questions: Do you genuinely believe your employer or partner values you enough to change their ways? Are the problems in your relationship easily fixed through communication, or are they a result of deeper, core compatibility issues? Is this your first time trying to manage this conflict, or are the issues repeating events? These are the types of questions you should ask yourself before making a final 'go or no-go' decision.

Sophia Lee is a content writer for Blueboard and can be found on Twitter: @sophialee92.

This article was originally published on and reprinted here thanks to a lovely relationship.